February 29, 2012

MILF Me

Season 1, Episode 10 - The Baby Shower

In this episode, the ladies are invited to an old friend's baby shower and are Bitter McBitters the entire episode.

I have never ever experienced (myself or people around me) any sort of jealousy or resentment over a friend's baby. Who hates babies?? Everyone I know is like Charlotte, so happy for the mother and excited for the baby. The basis of Carrie, Miranda, and Samantha's hate are 1) their own insecurities and 2) annoying parenting habits.

Miranda feels depressed. Depressed about what? Sour grapes - she doesn't have a husband or a baby? The loss of her friend's personality/freedom? Not very likely to be the latter. Miranda is sorry for herself.

Samantha feels stark raving crazy, threatened, and inadequate by the pregnancy. It's as if she is taking the friend's decision to get married and have a baby as a direct judgment on her, when in reality, let's face it - what kind of crazy person gets pregnant in order to make a value/moral statement? Crazy sauce. Samantha treats the situation as a betrayal of the fun, party girl lifestyle.

Admittedly, the friend is condescending, saying that Samantha needs to get serious, settle down, and stop bar/bedhopping. If I was subjected to that by my pregnant friend, I would be bitter against moms and their babies too! But, later you see that the friend is saying this out of spite - she's just sad about her loss of that lifestyle.

The ladies also hate on the odd parenting skills of the suburban moms. Breastfeeding a grown child, no longer an infant. Doting on the son and blowing up his ego beyond reason at an early age. Talking only about babies, even though they're smart women. But why do Miranda, Carrie, and Samantha take this so personally? Just because these women may be bad mothers doesn't mean that all mothers are bad parents, or even that Miranda, Carrie, and Samantha will be bad mothers. It's annoying yes, but hardly deserving of their despise of mothers and babies.

Remember growing up and there was that mom who was so cool, young, and hip? In a very grass is always greener on the side way, she was always my friends' moms.. just never my mom.

I understand that there are some mothers who become sucked up in their mothering and lose their identity, especially immigrant women.  The writers are clearly playing up the loss in identity that mothers can face. Some of the moms confide about lighting up a joint, a lesbian lover, an internet lover. And yet, there are many real women who have balanced their identities and motherhood. Unconventional women. Strong women. Women who still party. Women who are beautiful and charming. MILFs! The way the writers pin down mothers as conventional, dull women, who have lost their identities and regret their lives vs. single women who are smart, savvy, but jealous .. is annoying. But I guess that's the problem of TV. It can't express the complexities of real life and human personalities.

So, I urge you all, if you ever become mothers, try to be MILFs who are remain both individual persons and a loving mother. That'll show those Sex and the City writers. haha.


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