Secret Sex

Sex and the City Season 1, Episode 6: Secret Sex

In this episode, Carrie bumps into an old friend Mike Singer who refuses to introduce his girlfriend. His justification: she's not pretty but the sex is great, therefore she's good for now but she's not the one. OUCH. He is either embarrassed of her, has intimacy issues, is in denial of his feelings, or all of the above. Carrie however offers a more optimistic explanation of this "secret sex" situation. Perhaps it is a "pure state exempt from the world's judgment."

I know exactly what Carrie is getting at. The world, especially your family and friends, can be painfully harsh when it comes to who you are dating. They push and pull you in every direction and hurl their opinions and objections at you at 100mph. Since when has their love become synonymous with their judgements? Sometimes it's just easier to keep a relationship secret.

I remember when my boyfriend and I decided to give our relationship a second try after a 1 year break. While we were in the process of figuring things out, it seemed like everyone had an opinion. Our friends wanted to know what was going on but we didn't even know ourselves. It was as if they had a bigger stake in our relationship than we did. I got fed up with the pressure and so I practiced "secret sex." We would sneak in and out of our respective apartments to avoid being seen by our friends/roommates. During group hangouts, we would make an effort not to speak to one another to dispel any suspicion. After a while, everyone cooled down and we came out of the closet as a couple.

At the end of the episode, Mike Singer finally realizes that he really does love his girlfriend and invites her out to meet Carrie and the girls. Unfortunately he was too late. She left him and his issues. If you are practicing "secret sex," just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons, cause you might just end up hurting yourself.