March 7, 2012

If You're Annoying, Trust Me, You're Not "The One"

Season 1, Episode 12 - Oh Come All Ye Faithful

The episode begins with Miranda dating a guilt-ridden Catholic guy. She states that had she known he was Catholic, she never would have dated him. As a practicing Catholic, I cringed when she said that bc I have heard that sentiment too many times during college albeit in a completely different context.

In the tiny microcosm of Christian Asian American, especially Korean American, college students, the vast majority are Protestants. As part of the Catholic minority, I have seen firsthand the pity in the eyes of friends who saw me burning in the fires of hell already, being blacklisted and removed from the "dateable" list, etc. When you're a freshman and too green to let religion cloud your friendship decisions, you might happen to become friends with a Protestant dormmate or someone you meet through a club. Then you delicately ignore the topic of religion for the rest of your time in college. Later, when religion starts to segregate devout Protestants from those who aren't, the mentality is God help you (literally) if you get into a relationship with a Catholic. Oh, she's cute - check. She's smart - check. She's fun- check. She's Catholic?!?! - bye. I've seen it happen! But as most things of this nature are... how hypocritical is that? (Okay- I might sound like a bitter spurned lover, but this is not the case. haha. I have seen it happen around me, but it has never happened to me.)

Almost equally annoying in this episode is Carrie. Carrie, oh Carrie, how I wanted to smack you in this episode!!
Carrie sees Mr. Big escorting his mother to church, and she becomes obsessed with wanting to meet his mother. He asks her respectfully to keep her distance, but she (annoyingly) attends church the following week, against his wishes. Then of course, she gets caught because she drops a book from the balcony. Her reaction is a series of (annoying) "oh gee" "woops" faces. Since she's caught, Carrie (annoyingly and psychotically) reasons that she has to stick around to be introduced to Big's mother. He introduces Carrie to his mother as a friend, but this does not float Carrie's boat. She is (annnoyingly and unreasonably) tormented about this and eventually breaks up with him.

Can you tell I'm annoyed?

First of all, there's the BIG issue that Carrie does something, without consulting Big, against his wishes. How directly did he tell her not to do it? In any relationship disagreement, if you don't agree, talk it out with your s.o. first, instead of traipsing your way into a church/situation, disrespectful to your s.o. and others in that situation!

Then, she freaks out bc Big doesn't know if she's "the one" yet. Really? All romantic b.s. aside, can you really be upset with someone you've been dating for some months for not knowing if you're "the one?" I understand that some have a feeling about "the one" very early on, but it's more common to not know. Dating is a process in which you figure that out. If you knew that from Day 30, then why date??

Never in this process does Carrie identify that Big is "the one" for her! Does she even know? Is she even ready? Okay fine, if you assume that she believes he's the one for her, then why does she break up with him? Is her pride so insurmountable that she cannot be with someone who is less sure than her? Can we please give the poor guy some more time to figure it out?? After all, some guys.... are just... slower in figuring out commitment and feelings and all that. And finally, she has an entire mental breakdown by herself, and dumps Big! Where's the conversation around this??

Breathe, Junette, breathe.

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