April 18, 2012


Season 2, Episode 4 - they shoot single people, don't they?

Its Wiener Wednesday, so BDF will be your guide to the curious city today.  Its Sex in the City day and yes, BDF has watched Sex in the City.  As a matter of fact, he's watched the entire series.  Some might say that he watched it because of the great characters, plot lines and insights.  Cynics might say he watched it to get inside the mind of women (to manipulate women, mwahaha).  I say he watched it just to have another thing to be able to talk about with girls when he was single.  BDF: "Man, that guy is totally her Steve." Random girl: "Oh my god, you watch sex in the city?!?!?" and BOOM, I'm in. ;)

So lets discuss today's episode shall we?  While Samantha was stood up by her greasy club owner (by the way, never date a guy who brags about what he owns or what he has in the first 19 mins) , Carrie says that in that moment, Samantha realized that no matter how hard it is to be alone sometimes better to be alone.  I want to add to that and say that its always better to be alone than to have to fake it.  A lot of people asked me how come I never had a serious relationship before?  Some find it so hard to believe that an AWESOME person like me was single, that they think I'm lying. hahaha j/k.  Most just assume I have something seriously wrong with me : /  Bottom line, I just hate wasting my time in something I know is not going to work and having to grind through all that.  Relationships are hard enough, but having to deal with someone you barely tolerate, eesh!  Like I always ask, "is the juice worth the squeeze?" To me, faking it comes down to three reasons.
1. Faking it is just too much work
    Once someone realizes that the person that they are dating is not the one, then all of the persons flaws become extra annoying.  The weird high pitch way that they laugh makes your ears bleed.  Having to fake interest in the person's "deep analysis" on how Ashton was totally not right for Demi makes you hate yourself.  Not to mention having to go to places with that person all the while wishing that you were at home watching CSI reruns.  Having to go through all the motions without any meaning burns too many calories.  Its just too much work, stress and frustration and for what?  Just to have someone there because you are bored or lonely?  Which brings me to my next point
2. Productivity
    Earlier in the episode, Carrie says that being single frees up one's weekends.  Actually, its not just weekends that are free, the weekdays are all time for yourself as well.  For me, I filled all the years of being single with a few productive things.  I attempted to learn guitar, learned how to properly work out, dove into kpop to improve on my Korean and learn about the culture, joined a mens soccer team for a couple of years, graduated from business school and most importantly, learned how to play golf (as you can see, I was single for a LONG time).  So instead of being in a crappy relationship for 3 months with someone you barely tolerate, wouldn't you rather be doing something else?  Wouldn't you rather write that screen play?  Wouldn't you do try to start that business you always wanted to?  Wouldn't you rather join that cross fit gym you always drove by?  Wouldn't you rather learn how to speak another language? Wouldn't you rather learn how to play golf? Wouldn't you rather do something, ANYTHING than to be with someone you know isn't right for you?  Not only will have accomplished something, you instantly become a more interesting person to have a conversation with.  and finally, the third and final reason

3. Opportunity Cost
    The time you spend being with someone is time that you are off the market and not available.  Its like being put on lay away and the person never coming back to buy you.  Because you are spending time with mr. wrong, you are not spending time trying to find mr. right.  So the 3 months you spent dating mr. nobody meant that you missed out on meeting 3 months worth of guys who could've been mr. somebody.  Whether thats 3,2 or even 1 person that you could've met in those 3 months, thats 3, 2 or 1 people that could've been, at the least, better than the guy you are with now. 

I'm not saying that you shouldn't date around and meet people.  On the contrary, go out, mix it up, make new friends, meet new people, make some bad decisions, hate yourself in the mornings.  I'm just saying that being with someone you know isn't for you and having to fake it isn't worth it.  Not only are there better things for you to do, it actually blocks you from finding mr. right.  Always ask yourself, "is the juice worth the squeeze?"

I hope you've enjoyed my guide on the curious city.  Until next time!


  1. what a sage BDF. i will take "is the juice worth the squeeze" to the grave. best advice thus far.

  2. Why didn't you say anything all those years I wasted on Mr. Wrongs? It's all your fault!