This week's episode talks about commitment. Carrie is struggling with Big over his unwillingness to fully commit, while Charlotte finds her issues with her constant willingness to commit. The pragmatic Miranda is lining up her ducks, crossing her T’s and dotting her I’s and wondering why she can’t find someone to commit to. And Samantha, her commitment to not committing is starting to make her think that she needs to commit.
I myself don’t take commitment lightly. Some might be surprised to find that I am engaged to my first girlfriend (Ex-GF now that we are engaged). A lot of people along the way believed that I had commitment issues, and some even believed that I would be the Korean George Clooney, or "Klooney." My response was always, “It's not that I’m scared of commitment, I’m scared of committing to the wrong girl”.
If you’re a fan of Wiener Wednesday, then you know I like breaking things down into lists. So here is my list of reasons I was afraid of committing to the wrong girl.
- Break Ups - If I were to spend 6 months to a year or more with someone who knows me inside out, knows all my friends and may know things about me my family doesn’t, breaking up with them would be tough. I don’t know how I would be able to let that go. Also, God forbid the always awkward encounters with them. How can I pretend to be fake? How are you supposed to act?
- How hard is too hard? How hard are you supposed to try with someone who’s just a BF/GF? For me, relationships and intimacy is an all or nothing in. I can’t kind of like pretend to try hard. It's like being pregnant, you can’t be kind of pregnant. Either you are or you aren’t. Either you’re committed or you aren’t.
- Cancer - Growing up I was taught that if a great man were to be with/marry the wrong woman, the woman can ultimately lead to the man’s demise. This would be the inverse of, behind every great man there is a great woman. It would be, behind every failed/horrible man is a failed/horrible woman. Because of this theory, I was always weary of who I dated.